Do you remember a time when a fat guy sitting on a wee guy’s face was something that you got involved in on a Saturday afternoon rather than something you looked up on the World Wide Web? Do you remember that strangely pleasurable throbbing pain than you felt at work on a Monday which was the by-product of being tossed about like a rag doll on a muddy field during your weekend rather than the result of getting up too quickly to scavenge for the TV remote. Do remember standing at bars in weird and exotic locations around the country and drinking pints with someone who not so long ago had a firm grip on parts of you that were once deemed the sole domain of you/your wife/your GP/your Catholic priest (delete where inappropriate).
These feelings, this nostalgia for physical acts that might otherwise be categorised as fetishist can be traced back to your decision to play rugby and in particular to play rugby for Portobello. The thing we all had in common before was that we all did it. The thing we all have in common now is that we don’t. As with all commonalities these are best discussed within the confines of a licensed premises. As former Portobello players it would be appropriate if we could make this premises the Portobello Rugby Club.
As with many smaller rugby clubs Portobello is subject to constant cycles – occasional periods of stability interspersed with upswings followed by downturns. I think it’s fair to say at the moment the club is enduring one of the latter. As ever, those at the coal face both on and off the pitch are digging in diligently not only to do their level best for the here and now but to ensure the ongoing existence of our club so that future generations can be subjected to these dreary memos!
The idea of an Old Boys re-union up at the club has been floated not only as a means of getting us all shoehorned into the bar to exaggerate one another’s respective rugby/drinking/pulling abilities, but as a show of strength to the current crop of players and administrators to let them know that they’re not in it alone and the weight of history (and countless fat people) is behind them.
The lad’s final home game of the season is against Langholm on 26 March and as we’re in the throes of a relegation struggle it would be a good time for us all to pull together and gee the lads on. Naturally there will be other incentives in the form of food and drink to spur us on to spur them on.
The game is a 3pm kick off and we would propose a 1pm meeting to ensure we are up to ramming speed by the time the first whistle peeps. An initial £20 a head contribution will see you fed and watered (sandwiches and a couple of pints) with the balance going towards the playing side of the operation to use as they see fit. The day/night will then continue as we celebrate/commiserate with our team and bore them at great length about how amazing we were before YouTube was invented.
Let us know if you are up for this and please share this with anyone you think might want to reconnect with a time in their life where they enjoyed the company of other men more than decent society might judge as normal.